That awkward moment when you despise someone but you also care for the bastard so much that you can let go of all the bullshit that person put you through... my dad's father passed away last tuesday morning at the age of 86 years old (tough old buck that guy is )
so i have to go to the funeral on Wednesday
He was one of the greatest family members i had besides my mom... ill miss him TT_TT

but thats not why im aggravated right now, for those of you who've been with me since 2010 you know  the head trama ive been through behind my dad and his nonsense...
ive spent this whole time trying to avoid and forget about him and stay away but thanks to my mental programing i have to go comfort him and a good portion of me REALLY dosnt want to go anywhere near him! that portion cant seem to forgive the guy. but this stupid good conscience of mine... its like "Go" and im like FFFFFFF-FINE... (you see the dilemma here?)

gawd being a good person is gonna be the death of me one day... A whole lot of me just dosnt want to care about him or his problems... but because hes my grandpa and my dad was so close to him... i care far too much... damnit TT_TT